How does my CCA app look?

[The Soul Blades ?TSB?]

OOC Section

OOC Name
The Soul Blades (TSB)

IC Character Name
Keriah Eckley

1) Please write a minimum of 3 paragraphs OOC'ly detailing why your character wishes to join the Combine Civil Authority and what lead your character to do so.
My character has wanted to do something about the rebels ever Since her brother died, to a group of rebels that wanted to recruit Keriah. Who thought, he was working with the CP. During the encounter Keriah was also attacked, leaving a scar across her right eye. She was left alive for unknown reasons. Now Keriah wishes to kill all rebels, to avenge her brother. The only thing is though, how could she?
Later my character found out that the CP’s were recruiting some of the most loyal citizens. She then began to help any CP that needed assistance, no matter what the task was. For almost one month Keriah was working hard to earn any loyalist points she could. Then she had finally earned the loyalist armband!
Now Keriah has recently gained enough courage to go ahead and apply to become one of the newest CP’s. After sending in her application to become a CP, Keriah anxiously awaited a reply from the Universal Union. After about 2 weeks of waiting Keriah was beginning to think she had gotten declined. Three days later a letter arrived from the Universal Union. Will she get accepted, or denied?
While Keriah was waiting for an answer to her application she decided to study the CP’s and how they do things. She was unable to learn much other than the fact they are ruthless and efficient. So she then decided to buy the book called Zen of the Union. Hoping it would shed some light on the mysterious CP’s. Once she finished reading the book all she had gotten was more questions.

2) Please detail your character’s traits. (E.g., Pure, Lawful, trustworthy)
My character is trustworthy, she has only broken one promise in her life. She is stronger than the average person. Lawful, as in she will report any rebellious activity to the CP’s since she is just one person. Nice to those that are innocent, but mean to those who are guilty.

3) Please provide 2 paragraphs about what you are expecting the Combine Civil Authority to be like for you and your character?
I think I’ll be trained to take down even some of the strongest citizens. I expect to protect the innocent by taking down the resistance, whenever and wherever they strike. When I first join I expect to be pushed around a little bit by the higher ranking CP’s, but I won’t mind. I’m most likely going to get flooded with new responsibilities, but I think I’ll be able to stay calm under the pressure. By the time training is complete I think I’ll have everything figured out.
Both my character and myself imagine things will be organized to a degree where everyone will know what they need to do, and where they need to be for the most part I’m most likely going to get flooded with new responsibilities, but I think I’ll be able to stay calm under the pressure. I imagine that if I become a CP I will be able to become a better role-player then I am now. I think some citizens will hate me, and others will look up to me but no matter what my loyalty to the Universal Union will not falter.

4) Please provide a detailed back-story from an out-of-character perspective on your applying character. This section must be detailed and consist of a minimum of 300 words.
Post Seven Hour War
Keriah’s brother Jason was killed, by a group of rebels. During the attack Keriah was attacked by a rebel who was armed with a knife, he managed to cut Keriah’s right eye pretty bad but she was able to shake it off, proceeding by disarming the rebel, just for two more rebels to appear and begin attacking her in hand to hand combat, knocking her out, but only after she saw her brother get shot, by one of the rebels. When she was waking up, it was to a massive headache. She then slowly rose to her feet, and searched her backpack that was thrown over to the side, and found nothing inside of it. She then shouldered her bag and went over to examine her brother’s body. When she had finally made it to his body she had regretted walking over to it. Keriah had suddenly fallen to her knees and began crying, since her brother had died. She was blaming it completely on herself, but her friend Kevin Brown, was trying to convince her that it was not her fault, with no success.
Almost a year later, Keriah found a way to get revenge on the rebels, by joining the CP’s! She thought she would never get accepted, since there were tons of new recruits. Although this discouraged her, she still began getting the trust of the CP’s by doing any job she could for the city. Like cleaning a statue, cleaning the streets, picking up garbage, and cleaning an officer’s uniform. When she had finally gotten her loyalist armband, she was elated!
Before Keriah could begin writing application she began to hear talk from a group of citizens about a rebellion coming from the apartment next to her own. So she decided to spy on them to see if she could find out what they plan on doing. When they were ready to begin their plan they instantly noticed her standing outside their door, and began to attack her knocking her out and throwing her off the catwalk in D2, she then landed on the balcony of the CWU building. When she awoke she could not remember much, but was able to stand up, and walk to her apartment. On the way there a group of citizens were trying to talk to her. She was unable to understand them due to the pain so she ignored them and kept walking to her apartment. When she made it to her apartment she forgot to lock the door. So the group of citizens that were trying to talk to her came in, and turns out they were the ones that threw her off the catwalks. They wanted to talk to her so they could most likely throw her off the catwalks again. So they could finish Keriah off! This time when they threw Keriah off the catwalks and onto the balcony she did not wake up until after they had carried her off the balcony, and over to Nex-hap, so they could cover their tracks and look innocent most likely. A citizen then decided to try her hand at helping Keriah since the CP’s were not doing much to help her by the looks of it. The unknown citizen then brought Keriah to her apartment. Once there Keriah began to slowly regain her ability to understand others and eventually she herself got the ability to speak once more. Although she could only whisper due to her injuries she was able to at least able talk to the citizen that decided to try and help her. Keriah later found out that this person’s name was Alyssa Red. Soon Alyssa brought her to a HELIX CP who was obviously not happy about having to try and heal Keriah. Although he did heal Keriah without questioning how she fractured her skull even though he was told that Keriah fell down the stairs to receive this head injury. After the CP had finished applying the treatment He told Alyssa to make sure Keriah did not fall asleep, since if she did Keriah might fall into a coma and never reawaken. Once Keriah had learned that she could not fall asleep she began to think about her brother’s death in order to make sure she did not fall asleep. When she was thinking she remembered something about the person that shot her brother, it was the figure of a woman that had shot him. Keriah was taken care of well and kept entertained for the most part by Alyssa, who was almost the entire time talking to Keriah, because of this Keriah quickly began to think of Alyssa as a friend. Soon Keriah was able to walk around just fine. Although Keriah had healed her life did not get any better after that.
Well for a bit things were looking up, since her sister had just arrived to the city! So Keriah showed her around some of the city, but then three men had encircled her sister, and began to say things about raping her! Keriah instantly reacted to this and began to help her sister by attacking the men and taking one of them out, encouraging her sister to also begin to fight them. Later someone decided to try and take Keriah’s sister by force, which was a big mistake assuming he had not locked himself in the bathroom of an apartment. Keriah was able to break down the first door but she did not have enough strength left to break down the bathroom door, but Keriah had to try. Soon whoever had taken Keriah’s sister emerged from the room and Keriah saw something that horrified her… It was her sister’s dead body. The scent of bleach was in the air and an empty bottle of bleach was next to Keriah’s dead sister. She had died because she was forced to drink bleach. Keriah fell to her knees crying at the sight. She quickly got back up however and went straight to her apartment. The only emotions she felt was rage and sadness, Keriah only felt the need to do one thing, kill any all rebels, for they had killed the last few members of her family!
Keriah then saw someone she had met once before, Ellis. He at first tried to comfort Keriah just to try and gain her trust. Later When Keriah had fallen asleep Ellis decided it was time to do what he had intended. Which was to kill Keriah, he decided to do this by throwing Keriah off the side off the bridge in D2. She was able to wake up in time to realize what Ellis was doing also allowing herself to brace for the fall and land in a way that it did not hurt her too much. Although she fell unconscious and broke her arm she came out mostly unharmed. By the time she woke up it was at an unknown location. She soon found out that rebels had taken her to a place in D2. So that they could heal her the best they could. Keriah never really learned their names but she did not really care as long as she got out of D2 undetected. Well she did make it out and decided to completely forget about the entire ordeal, well at least the part about being in D2 under the care of rebels. She still wants to kill Ellis for what he did. Now Keriah has just learned the truth about her brother’s killer. It was Alyssa that killed her brother Jason, well assuming her long time friend Sam did not lie to her.

1. How long have you played on role-playing servers in general?
I think I have been playing on RP servers for a little over 2 years, at first I had played dark RP until I realized it was derp RP a few months ago, then I started looking for a more serious role-play server until I found HL2RP. Then I found out that my friends play on this HL2RP so I joined this server.
2. How long have you played on serious servers?
About 8 months, if I can remember correctly. I learned so many new things in that period of time I think I know twice as much now, than I did before!
3. How long have you played on Catalyst Gaming?
I used to play on the orange cosmos server a while ago, but I stopped after like a month. I then played on CG’s HL2RP server for about a month.
4. What Time zone are you in?
 EST (Canada, US)
5. In what country do you live?
 I live in the United States of America.
6. How old are you?
 Currently I am 15.
7. What’s your most memorable quality RP experience?
 My most memorable RP experience was when I turned the dark RP mayor job into a more serious job by making a senate and having the senate, and I vote on laws that are proposed by members of the senate.
8. Do you consider yourself a good listener?
 Yes, since I learn nearly everything the first time I hear it, and almost never need someone to repeat themselves unless I did not know he/she was speaking at the time.

IC Section

Full Name: Keriah Eckley
CID: #98211
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Height: 6’1
Hair Color: Brown
Eye color: Green
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Weight: 175lbs
Mental Distinctions: Takes orders only after evaluating the situation. (I don’t mean to say that I won’t accept orders)
Mental Defects: None.
Mental Advantages: Can quickly evaluate any situation easily.
Notable Qualities: Never gives up, Loyal, Strategic.

1. Have you ever been detained or apprehended for a Sociostability Infringement before? If so, explain?
I have never been detained, and nor do I plan on being detained.
2. Do you regularly eat Combine Civil Authority Issued Rations?
I have never skipped one.
3. Are you willing to give your life to the cause of the Universal Union?
I will never question them.
4. Do you as a Citizen and future Civil Protection Member accept ALL actions performed by you and those under your command as your OWN responsibility?
Yes, if they are my troops I need to keep them in line.
5. Will you remain loyal and faithful to the Universal Union as long as you live?
Throughout my whole life I will never question them.
6. Why do you want to join the Combine Civil Authority?
So I can help the people, and for a more personal reason that I do not wish to share. (Check back story for that reason)

Please sign the attached oath using only blue or black pen.
I, Keriah Eckley hereby swear my mind, body and soul to the Universal Union forever so long as I draw breath. I do so knowing that my actions will be held accountable to me and solely myself. I also declare my knowledge that as a Member of The Universal Union that I will be required to perform tasks above and beyond as well as perform ANY task ordered to by ANY commanding person(s). I hereby acknowledge the fact that as a Civil Protection Task-force Unit that I will be losing most, if not all, communication and or past relationship with anyone outside of the Universal Union's operational bounds.

Please tell me if you think I should change/add stuff.

I will update this post as I work on my app

[Pielolz]

-text wall-

Dont give this page of text to poor RTLK, he has enough apps to read let alone this 1293891238138299831289821398 apps in one.

[Martinerrr]

-text wall-

Dont give this page of text to poor RTLK, he has enough apps to read let alone this 1293891238138299831289821398 apps in one.

He's a Nine Year Old troll, don't bother listening to him, you're allowed to make the application.
No one that is stopping you,
Try splitting up the back-story in paragraphs, it'll make it more neat.

Edit:

Please tell me if you see me copying

What uhh... Does that mean, did you copy?

[YankeeSamurai]

Yeah, organize questions 1, 3, and 4 into coherent paragraphs, and you'll be all set. I'd also lengthen your answers to numbers 1 and 3, just to be on the safe side.

[Nicknero]

I suggest to bolt all the questions and leave the answers unbolt so it's much easier to read, and it will look more professional.

Example:

What is your name?
Nicknero1405

Is that really your name?
Yes.



Or for in the IC session where you put the answer behind the question:

Name: Nicknero1405
CID: 12345
Age: 9001

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Wow thats a lot it all looks like one giant paragraph.

[Martinerrr]

Wow thats a lot it all looks like one giant paragraph.

1 is too short, one paragraph is four sentences not three.

And your backstory barely shows anything before the Seven Hour War, it immediately starts with her getting revenge and joining the CP(CCA).
It really is about CP, press Ctrl+F and type in CP. 15 results.
The backstory should be about the life, from maybe born to now, if you don't do that it wont show that you know the canon.
The event Resonance Cascade and the Seven Hour War should be detailed and explained, I think I cleared that up.

[The Soul Blades ?TSB?]

Ok guys I want to put this here so people see it, by the way everyone thanks for the suggestions I'm so happy you guys are willing to help me out with this. Ok so now for what this post is really about, my computer is currently being worked on and is said to be returned to me by Monday and possibly earlier so I won't be on the server until then (I will be on the forums through the power of my iPod)

[Nicknero]

Oh, one thing. I see your character is 22. This is an unallowed age because during the 7 hour war in 2010, everyone 18 and below got killed.
Our server's time is set to 2016, meaning that in 2010 minimal 19 years old, would be around 25 in 2016.

tl;dr: Your character needs to be at least 25 years old. But I always suggest in making him older then that as most people put their characters around 25-35, which is really young. We need more oldies

[Ponikvar]

I was told the 7 hour war took place in 2015 on the server.