Author Topic: Evelyn Cheryl's Authorization Application.  (Read 4957 times)

Offline Made Man

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Evelyn Cheryl's Authorization Application.
« on: February 19, 2013, 03:30:07 PM »
Player Section

Steam Name: Made Man
Age: Sixteen. (16).
How long have you been Roleplaying? (can be any game): Eight years.
How long have you been playing Serious GMod RP?: Four years.

Character Section

Authorization(s):

 Self Defense Training: Advanced Fighting Moves.



Name: Evelyn Cheryl.
Age: Twenty. (20.)
Gender: Female.
Affiliation: Citizen.

Write a detailed in-canon back-story how your character obtained these authorizations.

 
Introduction.
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 After being relocated from City 33 to City 17 and then to City 18. It had always been a sight for sore eyes as the train sped across the railway as she spotted the trees and bushes race across the window. There was only one citizen on the train, a shady man who rarely spoke and was always silent as if he was dead. The man had never moved and was lost in his own imagination as if he was in a different world that was vivid and vague and offered nothing good but other than being useless. Another eyesore, she thought. She hadn't spoken to this man during the train ride, she tried speaking to the man but the mysterious man just ignored her.

 The train ride stopped at it's destination as the horn echoed throughout the city, smoke flared out through the night sky, lights were alive as the chasm gave life to the civilization, sidewalks were covered in junk and garbage. She thought to herself before breathing in the crispy cold air which surrounded her like a blanket, "A new life, new hope, new civilization.", before heading down the sidewalk towards a spire which tore through the clouds into the descending dark night sky, which was covered in a blanket of stars. The city's cries screamed through the barriers as a voice then emerged from the depths further and deeper in the city, "Attention, citizens. Rations are now available at your Union Designated Distribution Center, you have one hour to collect your rations.", before a click afterwards as it cut off.

Civilization.

 As she entered the Ration Distribution Center, a couple tinheads appeared, they had a stunstick clutched in their right hand and a holstered pistol which she thought in her head was, "Don't mess with me, or I'll shoot you.". A couple citizens were already in line and by their demeanor, they were nervous due to the Civil Protection officers, Evelyn quickly grew a anticipation towards the Civil Protection officers, seeing them as a Shrine of Hope and a helpful grasp from the stars. She then stepped in line as the citizens grew behind her in an instant, as these citizens were dying for food, no matter how horrible the food tasted.  When she received her Ration package, on it was a red line with bold clear through letters scribbled against it "Ready to eat Ration package." in which she thought was military origin before heading towards the UCH complex.

 Shortly after entering the entrance of the Union Civil Housing A entrance, she overheard a argument just feet away around the corner, a cry for help she thought as a woman screamed in sheer fear. Before turning around in the corner, a male citizen appeared, who intentionally had the woman grabbed by the collar and a fist arisen from his shoulder which was pointed directly at the woman. As the punch hit her moments later, the woman had fallen down to the ground, afterwards, a couple kicks was slammed against her stomach as everything stopped in her head. The man was about to do one final blow to the head before the man turned around, his crazy eyes was directly aiming at Evelyn.

Fight.

 She raised her fists in the air, having no potential fighting skills what so ever. She then put on a loose fighting stance as she bounced herself around, keeping her fists held in the air before keeping her eyes paced on the other mans eyes. The man was a professional fighter, he looked professional too, she thought as she hesitated. The woman lying down on the floor apparently didn't move and her eyes had been closed; she's unconscious. Evelyn then tried to lay a swooping jab at the man, somewhere in the eyes. But due to the mans superior fighting assets and skill, the man grabbed by the wrist, and struck his thumb down, apparently her hand was bent at a left angle, then it was twisted hurriedly. A intrudging pain struck through her arm in one straight cunning blow as the pain surged through it like a jolt of electricity, the pain was similar to having a knife cutting open your arm, and fire burnt through it as the tendon strained. The man then gave her a jab in the nose as a sound prickled through her ears, her nose was broken as the blood then poured out like a waterfall. What have I gotten myself into? She thought, as two more blows struck her in the nose. but double the dose.

 The man kept a firm tight grip around her wrist, before the man leaned her over, she was weakened within seconds as the mans knee raced towards her stomach two more times, knocking the wind out of her before collapsing over her weakened body. Then, the muscular man bounced his boot against her head, as the boot ricocheted against her arm shielding her from any further blows to the head, she screamed in pain before yelling "Someone, someone help me!". She then spotted a group which was circled around the scene, a voice arisen throughout the fighting as they began to cheer, as if this was nothing too lame and boring then watching birds eat bread crumbs.

 Suddenly, just as the voices blasted in her ears and the punches and kicks jagged against her crumpled and weakened body, footsteps stomped on the floor as three lights sparkled on stunsticks appeared overhead on the group of citizens, and the voices slowed down and her vision blurred before going completely black, she had been knocked out from the abuse. Before waking up to a snearing sour smell of salt, she awoken in a bed, the light bursted as she opened her eyes as the chasm emerged and escaped the light. Two figures were seen operating on her, appearing to have basic medical tools as they applied strange green gel on her wounds, and padded her forehead which was now covered in sweat. Where am I? she thought in her head before a mask was wrapped around her mouth, knocking her out in seconds, everything went... black?

Wake.

 As she awoken in the Emergency Room: Operation Room, the light was shut off as a beeping noise was connected somewhere on her body, it was loud and never stopped, it just repeated like a phone left unhooked. When she held her arms up in the air, she could see that there was a clear tube with strange chemicals being pumped into her arm, probably something to do with the pain as her body was covered in bruises, hell, even cuts and burn marks, must've been one rough fight, she thought in her head. Her right arm from the wrist right towards her forearm was sore and whenever she moved it, the pain pulled.

 After she was released from the Nexus, she had a matted bandage surrounding her whole arm and some gel lathered near her wrist which was where he wrist was bent, and where the cuts and burnt marks were now left as scars. She took a stroll down the sidewalk before turning to the bend, the sounds of the city terrorified her as she hadn't heard these noises before, it was a loud buzzing noise, then it stopped before the ground shook before her, the sound stopped after that final buzz, also, the windows were shattered, which must've been a sonic boom; a Judgement Waiver, and she late for it.

 
Training.

 In her apartment she rented, she had taken old bags and ration packet wrappers and sewed the bags together with the wrappers. She then stuffed it with anything that was heavy and puffy, such as wrappers, old cartons. The punching bag was pretty heavy, and it was also dense in it's surrounding sides. When she gave it a punch, it hit the punching bag and it was hard, too hard. Her knuckles hit it, and it was just right, she removed the bandages from both of her arms before fastening it around her hands. She was ready.

 She found some old wires from the fridge in her apartment, and put it against the ceiling with a piece of string prompted in a couple holes which were tightened to keep the wires hung. The wires hung around the bell, her flexibility wasn't enough to keep her leg from bending high so she had to train for that was well. Everything just needed to have work and some patience. And she knew that she could achieve this goal by practising and training herself. She had the motivation and will to keep the city safe, and probably help the Civil Protection in their path, as they saved her from a probable death.

 
Year later.

 A year of hard work and training, a year of hard work and training, too much pace and exercise. She now perfected her spinning of her foot, her body was flexible and now it was perfected. Her punches were swift, strong and quick, and her stance was bouncy enough to keep a well paced and steady balance if she is ever hit. She is now at the age of twenty one, her muscle mass increased slightly and her speed and agility were in all parts of her body, and she improved her intelligence by reading UU booklets and manuals. She was ready to embrace the dangerous and hazardous outside world, and she was ready for it.
     

What will these authorizations give your character in regards to perks or defects?
Perks

 Increased strength and agility. (e.g. dodging hits, more strength in hits.).
 Ability to:
 Low kick.
 Mid kick.
 High kick.
 Punch quicky, and more stronger.
 Block hits.
 Roundhouse kick.
 Leg block. (e.g. someone tries to kick you in the back of the knee.)
 Slam down.
 Headlock.
 Pivot.
 
 


Defects

 More energy to hit. (e.g. more energy to do kicks, less energy, less powerful hits.).
 Takes time to lay down a kick.
 Cannot attack two at once.
 Attacked by performing a kick will knock her down, or stagger.
 Can be weakened in a matter of minutes.
 Continous fighting will slow her down, and her ability to do anything punches and kicks are simulateously decreased.
 
 


What do you plan to do with these perks/defects?

 What I plan to do with these perks/defects is to ensure the safety and protection of my character, and the possibilities will be endless as the City is a dangerous place to be in. I want the survival rate of my character increase and to make sure that my character from her mistakes will learn promptly about it, and to educate from them as well for a better, safer future for herself and many other people as well.

 I also would like to make roleplay have more /taste/ to it rather then being bold. I mean, if they see a character that knows how to fight, then they'll be all like, "Whoa, better not mess with her'' type of function, as the roleplay can be seen in many different aspects from FearRP to protection. I will not abuse these perks/defects, I'm not going to run around beating up every Civil Protection officer I see, I want the citizens to be safe, as my character see's the Civil Protection as a helpful, and civil law enforcement team, which also could be a grasp in loyalist points on capturing anti-citizens, and many alike.


Will anyone else need these auths? (If so, list OOC and IC name(s))


Which server does this apply for?

 City.


Extra Notes (optional):

 I couldn't think of anything else since opinions are chewed away, I brainstormed some ideas for an hour and the backstory is all I can think of. Thank you reading my Authorization Application, hope you enjoy it, feel free to comment. Constructive critism is allowed.

Post Auto-Merged: February 19, 2013, 06:18:32 PM
My character is loyal to the Civil Protection, and what the Universal Union doctrine taught her. I'm not gonna go around and beat up Civil Protection officers, as said, it'll only be used for self defense, and self defense only. For example, an anti-citizen is going to brawl me, I could fight myself out of there in a fight. If a Civil Protection officer is going to re-educate me, detain me or anything else that ensures law enforcement, my character will know that, since she plans on joining the Combine Civil Authority herself.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2013, 07:26:31 PM by Made Man »

Offline Dallas

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Re: Evelyn Cheryl's Authorization Application.
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2013, 11:28:38 AM »
Right, so after reading over this application, I see the following issues;

-Some of the grammar is all over the place, you use words that shouldn't be there to extend your sentences.

-UU handbooks wouldn't teach self defense to citizens

-I'd expect far more backstory for advanced hand-to-hand combat skills

-You say she's in City 18, not 17, not sure if I missed the part she transferred back but ok

-You capitalize words that don't need it in the opening paragraphs

Also from having seen you do things like lolrun from rp and disconnect to avoid it, which you were banned for, I cannot support this application in its current state.

 

**Insert poorly made signature with fire, lens flares and obnoxious text**

Offline rBST Cow

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Re: Evelyn Cheryl's Authorization Application.
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2013, 04:53:34 PM »
I agree with Dallas on this one. I don't think someone who lolruns away from rp and then dc's to avoid an admin should have such authorizations.

I also don't see you as a responsible individual when you were flaming me on steam and told me "fuck you and enjoy cybering with yuri"(that's just one of the things he said). You then proceeded to block me. (this was after I kindly approached you about the whole situation above and I told you if you would rejoin and continue the rp I'll talk to Dallas about not banning you).

Tldr I don't think you are responsible enough to have such authorizations.
abbot common stop bad for you if u watch anime all day nigga u fuckn weaboo

Offline Anzu

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Re: Evelyn Cheryl's Authorization Application.
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2013, 05:51:51 PM »
According to others, you arnt responsible enough to have such authorizations. Looking away from that, the only thing I would give to you with that application is a decent amount of strengh and agility.

Your backstory lacks a lot to get the full auths, I also really doubt that anyone can teach themselves such moves with makeshift equipment and no teacher/etc.

You do not have my support unless you proove yourself to be responsible enough and make the backstory longer for the training part.

Offline Made Man

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Re: Evelyn Cheryl's Authorization Application.
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2013, 02:26:47 PM »
You can remove ANYTHING if you want to, and yes, I do have to agree with you, apex, that I am not responsible enough for my past actions, and if I get accepted, something can go wrong.

Offline Khub

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Re: Evelyn Cheryl's Authorization Application.
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2013, 03:09:56 AM »
None of the administrators who posted in your application have given you their support. Dallas pointed out several valid issues. Your attitude isn't suitable for this kind of authorizations.

Denied.

 

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