Author Topic: [DENIED]Lilly Helgon's Civil Authority Application  (Read 1573 times)

Offline M.F.R.Thing

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[DENIED]Lilly Helgon's Civil Authority Application
« on: May 02, 2012, 05:41:41 AM »
Lilly Helgon's Civil Authority Application

OOC Name: ?X/G|???M§D???Th??I???N

IC Character Name: Lilly Helgon

1) Please write a minimum of 3 paragraphs OOC'ly detailing why your character wishes to join the Combine Civil Authority and what lead your character to do so.
Lilly Helgon, ever since she was put in the city she has been scared of rebellion. She has been exploring combine technology, admiring what they have made. She has always followed all orders of any unit, and given help in any way she can. Whether it be feeding or giving tips about City45.

She has kept her criminal record to a minimal, helping the combine by reporting all anti-citizen behaviour. She has always felt a need for further justice within the city.When she was the age of 22, she thought about helping to stop crime by joining the civil protection.She slowly grew a lust for justice.

She has been trying to keep citizens from disrespecting officers and letting them do their job. As the years past, her lust for justice grew stronger.She offered help to all officers, trying to be like them any way she could without getting in the officers way.She has always has always had a lust for power and justice, but it was only recently that she became serious about it.

2) Please detail your characters traits. (Eg, Pure, Lawful, Trustworthy)
Average Strength,Lawful,Mentally Advantaged,Straight Posture,Trustworthy,Listens well

3) Please provide 2 paragraphs about what you are expecting the Combine Civil Authority to be like for you and your character.

I expect that the Civil Protection squad will be hard work in training, but she will pull through and avoid every obstacle to bring justice to those who rebel. I will train hard and follow all her orders, no matter what. I expect it to be great, to finally complete my quest for justice. As well as help innocents. It shall be a long and painful journey, but worth it.

I believe that I will train hard and grow stronger, enforcing laws to citizens and punishing those who do not abide. I think that it will be a big opportunity for me, and the citizens of the city.She will patrol as much as she can and work as hard as she can. Whether it is morning, afternoon or night she will be there for the squad. To help all in need and to discourage all in regret.

4) Please provide a detailed back-story from an out-of-character perspective on your applying character. This section must be detailed and consist of a minimum of 300 words.
Lilly Helgon has been a law abiding character that often walks around observing every letter, every item, every person she encounters. She tries to avoid contact or a conversation with anyone, and tries to stay as far away as possible for anyone. Her parents gave birth to her 23 years before the 7 hour war. She was born in a town called "Levividia" and was raised there until the age of 4, in which she had to move to a new town.

 She moved to a town called "Anilia" and she finished her primary school years. She did not have any friends in primary, she preferred to sit down alone. Some said she was mental, but she only disliked others in the school greatly.. She was one of the smarter children in school. She often got harder work then the other students. She was not the smartest, but she was on of the smartest. She was put up one grade in school, and she was still smarter then most of the students, but she was only a little above average in mathematics and spelling. The school was small, with less then forty-five children.

 As she went into high school, she grew very shy, as the high school had more then one-hundred-and-fifty students in it. She had but one friend out of all those students, but she barely talked in person. In high school she was struggling in some classes. As the years past in high school her grades slowly raised.She studied mainly in the human body, mathematics, and electronics in high school. At the age of 14 she moved away from her parents to live with a friend, still in the same town. She lost her friend, and grew lonely as the years past. She never talked to anyone, not even her parents. Her time was going into her tests.

 As she sat their, rocking on her chair, she thought to herself everyday, strange words engraved into a stone. She had no idea what it meant...But when she finally found out, she was happy.. (It means Nothing. Ever. Alone.No Pain.) She went to UNE(College) for three years straight. She spent most of her time doing her PHD, but studied further into biology, and the human body. She finished school when she was 16. When she had spent her two years on biology and human body, she spent more time working in electronics for a year. She greatly improved in all her subjects that she studied, and finished two years early.

 She grew up alone and confused inside, but she didn't care. She always sat there, watching everyone who walked past her window. She would sit there in her free time thinking about odd things. It was a blur in her mind, she just knew that it was something she didn't't know anything. Her fingers scratched against the handles of the chair as she thought about it. She of course didn't mean to, but as the chair rocked, it was scratched. All she could think of was odd things. She sat there in her free time. She soon moved out of her friends house. By now she was at the age of 20. She left her house with $1000 from her parents. She was able to live in a house for a few weeks, while finding a job.

 She got a high-paying job as a nurse, just before she was going to evicted. She talked through microphone in a plain, white room. With nothing but a microphone, chair, and some screens. She told the doctors what to do in emergencies. When she was 23, she quit her job and lived an ordinary life without work. She was quite successful from her many years of work, able to live on the money she had earned for a year before working again.

 But then the 7-hour war came. Her parents were killed and she was dragged from her house. As the combine moved in, they killed her dog. She tried to hide, but the combine kicked and dragged her, screaming out of her room. She was put through many things. Taken to many places. As she watched from her escort away from her home, all she saw was fire. All she heard was screaming and gunshots, all she smelt was death. She was put through strange tests, and they took her to see a few strange combine. Not like the others, they were dressed in white with a red circle on their mask. She was interrogated many times about things she didn't even know about. When they finally gave up on her, they hit her head with a dark, grey, baton.

She then woke up on a train. The train ride stopped at many places, it was days before she arrived at city 45. She was scared of the civil protection and tried to stay out of their way, as well as everyone else. She slowly grew less fear full of the civil protection. She hid most of the time, but talked to the civil protection at times. She sometimes tried to talk to a few units, but she never got a response. Her spine got damaged from a interrogation she went through, in which she had to hide as much as she could to avoid being killed. But after a few months, she recovered. She started to want to become a civil protection unit,though didn't't want to hurt innocent people, but she soon thought to herself "The rebels do more damage to the innocents then the CCA" Then she began her journey on gathering information for the civil protection, and soon began helping them, then she finally applied. When she first came she thought that the civil protection were evil, but they were earths overlords now. So she slowly got less scared and felt a belonging. She still hid from some, but when someone wanted help, she helped.


5) Have you ever had a CCA character here at Catalyst Gaming?  If so, explain why it was removed.
No


OOC Details

1. How long have you played on role-playing servers in general?
Around 15 months.

2. How long have you played on serious servers?
Around 9 months.

3. How long have you played on Catalyst Gaming?
6 Months

4. What Time zone are you in?
+10GMT

5. In what country do you live?
Australia

6. How old are you?
11

7. What�s your most memorable quality RP experience?
My most memorable moment that sticks out is when I discovered what serious RP is, where you build up your character and meet new people. It ended up as me being a slave being shot by a sniper, but it was great.

8. Do you consider yourself a good listener?
Yes



IC Section

Full Name: Lilly Helgon
CID: 88699
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Height: 5'3
Hair Colour Brown
Eye Colour: Blue
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Weight: 115lbs
Mental Distinctions: Healthy, fast thinking.
Mental Defects: Easily Distracted. Gets very shy. Likes to be alone. Gets stressed around two or more people.
Mental Advantages: Observant,High Mental Strength,,Quick thinking,Mature.
Notable Qualities: Good Listener, Endurant,Commited,Agile,Fast thinking.


1. Have you ever been detained or apprehended for a Sociostability Infringement before? If so, explain?
Found Level 2 and 3 contraband, and dropped it on the nexus steps. I was then put it detainment for possession of contraband. I shall never repeat this mistake.


2. Do you regularly eat Combine Civil Authority Issued Rations?
Yes

3. Are you willing to give your life to the cause of the Universal Union?
Yes

4. Do you as a Citizen and future Civil Protection Member accept ALL actions performed by you and those under your command as your OWN responsibility?
Yes

5. Will you remain loyal and faithful to the Universal Union as long as you live?
Yes

6. Why do you want to join the Combine Civil Authority?
To bring justice to those who rebel. To help the union stay strong in anyway I can. As well as to help those who need me.

It will give me an Opportunity to be committed to something. Allow me to improve myself. As well as improve the rest of the world.


Please sign the attached oath using only blue or black pen.

I, Lilly Helgon hereby swear my mind, body and soul to the Universal Union forever so long as I draw breath. I do so knowing that my actions will be held accountable to me and solely myself. I also declare my knowledge that as a Member of The Universal Union that I will be required to perform tasks above and beyond as well as perform ANY task ordered to by ANY commanding person(s). I hereby acknowledge the fact that as a Civil Protection Task-force Unit that I will be losing most, if not all, communication and or past relationship with anyone outside of the Universal Union's operational bounds.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2012, 05:46:44 AM by Kom??Як »

Offline Khub

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Re: Lilly Helgon's Civil Authority Application
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2012, 08:50:33 AM »
UNIT: 050
DIVISION: VICE
CLEARANCE: OfC
Enter Password: ************

ACCESS GRANTED

Connecting to Network
Connecting...
Connecting...
Connecting...
CONNECTION ESTABLISHED

Applicant File Opened: <Lilly Helgon>
Citizen Identification Number: 88699

Acceptance status:
<::|| DENIED ||::>

Reason:
<::|| Application does not meet requirements. Application question 3 misses OOC view. Application question one does not fulfil minimal sentence amount standards and is not detailed enough. Application contains grammatical errors. ||::>

// Even if I think this application is very good when I take your age in mind, I cannot accept it. Your part one misses one sentence in second paragraph. I would have no problem with forgetting it, but the section one itself is not detailed enough. You have stated that your character has been exploring combine technology. How? Describe it in your next application. Scared of rebellion. How? Describe it as well. Question three states to describe " the Combine Civil Authority to be like for you ", what you have missed. While I have been reading your paragraphs, I've often noticed grammar errors. Review your backstory again also. There is difference between using past continuous and past simple verb tenses, look that difference up and take it in mind when you will be fixing your backstory for your next try.

Saving Record...
Saving File...
Saving File...
Saving File...
File Saved

Disconnecting C45.CCA.VICE-OfC.050
Console Shut Down.
CONNECTION LOST
« Last Edit: May 02, 2012, 08:52:25 AM by Khubajsn »

 

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